'Change is inevitable, difficult as it may be to accept especially if it involves moving away from significant others and starting anew. '

QUESTION: I have an eight-year-old son who has autism and he is doing well in school. He really likes the school where the teachers and staff are very nice to him. The problem is he likes it there so much that I’m afraid he will find it hard to transfer to another school. My family and I will be moving to Cebu soon because of my husband’s work. In fact, I already found possible schools in the area where he can go. How can I tell him that he will have to transfer to another school and have to leave his beloved school? How do we prepare him? Does this mean that he has to adjust again in his new school? Please help me.

Teacher Genevieve says: Change can be a cause of anxiety for many. We each have our own comfort zones, and rocking the boat by introducing change, may it be big or small, can be quite stressful for any person. However, we all know that change is inevitable, difficult as it may be to accept especially if it involves moving away from significant others and starting anew.

CHANGE & CHILDREN with AUTISM

Children with autism show extreme resistance to change. They can have preoccupations with certain objects or processes, repetitively doing the same thing over and over again. Predictability, order, and conformity to structure characterize the behavior of most children with autism.

A different route taken from what he is used to can trigger a major tantrum even when it is necessary like when the driver tries to avoid traffic and takes an alternate route. A child with autism may only want to play with a particular toy in a specific manner, for instance, perfectly lining up blocks or repetitively spinning the wheel of a toy truck. Schedule changes that have not been anticipated can also make a child with autism upset and can trigger an extreme reaction that family members often have difficulty dealing with.

Much of the anxiety you are feeling might also be due to your own fears and apprehension since it is not easy finding the right fit when it comes to educational placement for children with special needs.

Once you have found the school which best suits the needs of your child, it is difficult to let go in search of a new one. However, this is just one of the many changes that your son has to deal with as he transitions to adolescence in a few years, and later on to adulthood. Successfully journeying
with him through this period of change will prepare him to deal with other changes in his life.

DEALING WITH CHANGE

The first step in preparing your son for change is to prepare yourself to help him adjust to the change. Although children with autism are often portrayed as having a world of their own, they could actually sense deep-rooted emotions like fear and anxiety in other people’s facial expressions and body language. It is important that you convey a feeling of anticipation rather than apprehension
and difficulty letting go of his old school.

Believe that if your child has a positive attitude towards school in general, he would most likely look forward to going to school even if it would be a different school from where he used to go to, even if he has autism. He would associate “school” with all of the positive experiences he has had in the past, knowing that it is a place of safety, comfort and fun, where he would learn and meet new friends.

You could try the following practical strategies to prepare: Have a field trip to different schools! Visit different schools in your community. Explain to your son that there are different kinds of schools that children go to. This will help you introduce to him the concept of moving to another school in a concrete way, having him experience how it is to step foot in another school different from his own.

Enroll him in a summer program. This would be a chance to train him to adjust to new peers and hone his ability to socialize with other children in a natural setting. Choose a summer program that you believe he would be interested in – fun, interactive, and not too rigid. Unlike most of the programs that children with autism are exposed to (occupational therapy & speech therapy), your objective would be simply to give him the opportunity to mingle with other children to prepare him to adjust to his new classmates once you move to Cebu.

Play make-believe and simulate moving to a new school. Although children with autism have difficulty initiating pretend play, they can be led to participate in make-believe play to simulate going to another school in a positive context. Involve the whole family as you act out his first day of school. You can begin role-playing cheerily waking-up and going through your morning routine, riding the car or bus to school, then entering the classroom for the first time. Practice saying “good morning” to teachers and classmates then going to his seat to get ready for the first day of school.

Make a social story about going to a new school. A social story is a tool for teaching social skills to children with autism by increasing his understanding of situations that he may find difficult or confusing. He is the main character in the story wherein the plot revolves around how he should behave and act when he goes to his new school. There are many resources online on Carol Gray’s Social Stories for children with autism. You can check out the sites with this information to help you choose or make the appropriate social story for your son’s needs.

Children with autism may have been “wired” by nature to resist change, but the love and support of family and friends can make CHANGE be an opportunity for growth and maturity, not only for the child with autism but for all his loved-ones as well. The journey is not all about him alone, but the family’s journey to dealing with life’s unexpected turns with optimism and hope.